Unrewarded labour of stay-at-home moms in the marriage business

In many traditions of the world, the model of marriage is usually perceived as where a partner typically assumes the role of a bread winner while the other partner manages the household and cares for the family. The interactions and arrangements within the relationship look more like that of a business partnership, but while the financial aspects of these arrangements are usually clear-cut, the emotional and physical labour undertaken by the stay-at-home mom, are habitually undervalued and most often, overlooked. 

Some decades ago in many households, women took on the role of home makers, they dedicated their time and energy in ensuring that their family runs smoothly, some women sold their valuables to contribute to the smooth-running of the home and to maintain peace and tranquillity. The same tradition can be seen today, repeating itself but with a twist to it. Women managing household chores, school-runs, finances, careering for children and other adults in the house and providing emotional support. Their responsibilities are varied and quite demanding. However, despite the significant workload and crucial role these women play in the family’s well-being, they often go unrewarded for their hard labour.

Therefore, the concept of marriage as a business relationship becomes evident when we consider division of labour within the household. While breadwinners provide financial resources necessary to support the family, the stay-at home moms handle the day-to-day operations that keep the household functioning efficiently. This division of labour is likened to a business partnership where each partner contributes their own quota towards the overall success of the business.

Some observations remain quite striking though in this whole arrangement. This is supposed to be an understanding between the partners to make their family work better, but on many occasions, it is observed that the workload is heavier on one than the other, and one partner gets paid a salary and the other may never get to know how much is paid. The stay-at-home mom does not get any salary and when she receives any stipend from the man, it is called “pocket-money” and she must be very grateful for it, forever.  What happens to equity?

The lack of recognition and compensation for the hard labours of stay-at-home moms have become key challenges leading to dissatisfaction and feeling of being undervalued. Unlike traditional employment roles that come with salaries, benefits and recognition, the role of many moms is taken for granted.

The negative effects of unrewarded labour cannot be overemphasised as it sometimes makes the stay-at-home mom lose her personal identity and sense of self. The reason is simple, transitioning from a career-focused individual to a stay-at-home mom is a big shift. From being recognised in the corporate workspace to being identified as a primary caregiver and homemaker. Their financial independence, decision-making power and personal time are all gone, contributing to feeling of disempowerment, diminished self-worth, feeling of isolation and inadequacy join forces to creating a significant impact on their mental health, leading to stress, anxiety and depression.

The sad thing about this disparity is that it becomes a big issue during disputes and divorce cases where the contributions of stay-at-home moms are downplayed or overlooked.

In order to address this issue, it is important to recognise the immense value the stay-at-home moms bring to the family unit and society at large. Their multitasking abilities, organisational skills, emotional labour and caregiving responsibilities are invaluable and deserve to be acknowledged and appreciated. 

In considering ways to compensate the stay-at-home moms, these few points may be recommended:

1. Financial consideration: setting aside a portion of the family income for the stay-at-home mom will go a long way in restoring self-confidence while boosting fulfilment.
2. Emotional support: providing the emotional support they need to thrive in their role, will be beneficial to their mental health and overall well-being. This could include regular checking, appreciation for their efforts and opportunity for self-care.
3. Skills acquisition/Professional development: encourage stay-at-home moms to engage in personal and professional development opportunities to enhance their skills and access further knowledge, as these will be beneficial to them should they decide to start a business or pursue a passion project. The online world has made it possible to reach heights no matter where we are. 
4. Fair division of labour: ensuring that both partners share responsibilities and work together to create a harmonious and equitable living environment will help reduce unnecessary rift in their marriage. 

Nevertheless, the business of marriage extends far beyond financial transactions and legal agreements; therefore, by recognising and compensating the invaluable contributions of these women, we can create a more equitable, sustainable and supportive environment for families to thrive and grow, giving rise to a healthier society. 

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