Embracing the power of your voice
Lilian Chudey Pride, “The Childless Woman’s Coach”, is author of “Life Beyond Motherhood”; “Dignity of Womanhood”, and the publisher of iwriteafrica.com, an online magazine. Her books can be found on amazon.com and she can be reached on email: liliancpride@gmail.com; and lilian@iwriteafrica.com
September 3, 2024588 views0 comments
Embracing the power of one’s voice allows for self-expression as conveying one’s thoughts, feelings and ideas clearly fosters authenticity and confidence. Amplifying one’s voice can empower one to advocate for oneself and others, leading to increased self-esteem, influence, connection, visibility, advocacy, improved mental health and problem-solving, which lead to personal growth, stronger connections and positive societal impact.
However, some people in our society have been schooled or reduced to believe otherwise. Many childless individuals are facing harsh consequences of some “un-written” laws which have taken root in workplaces, families, homes and neighbourhoods. Their abilities and contributions to the growth of their environments have been downplayed, they have been subjected to settle for less, stigmatised, shamed, excluded and treated without equity, because societal norms insinuate that it should be so.
There are quite a good number of extraordinarily compassionate and lovely circumstantial childless individuals who are under duress, doing what they should not do, going to places they should not go, and eating and drinking things they should not, but for the weight of trying to fit into societal norms; and for the need of trying to find validations, many good people have condescended, fallen prey, lost dignity and self-worth.
Involuntary or circumstantial childlessness is not a disease. It comes into people’s lives without their consent, no one prepares for it, except the childless by choice. The pain it comes with, the emotional roller-coaster is excruciating and cannot be overlooked. This is why embracing your voice advocacy for every childless woman out there is imperative.
The misconception that an involuntary childless woman is not worthy of recognition for her hard-earned experiences, incapable of love, affection and nurturing should be shunned. There have been instances where involuntary childless women were publicly humiliated, dehumanised and dis-inherited because of their parental status. As a result, some are suffering severe mental health disorders, some have become suicidal and abandoned, many have been tagged “mad” “witch” or “evil” while some are struggling to find appropriate help and support to become their true selves again.
Societal stigmatisation, rejection, abandonment, character assassination, social alienation, are a few of the many societal mistreatments plaguing the involuntary childless woman in our society and all of these speak volumes of the malaise of lack of empathy, lack of appropriate medical facilities specific to issues, prioritised educational materials, focused advocacy programmes, interest and awareness in the overall well-being of the general populace.
Stigmatisation can take a toll on childless women’s mental health, physical wellbeing and their productivity, as a result of undue pressure, workplace discrimination, isolation, increased stress and self-perception, negative stereotypes leading to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and depression hindering focus and motivation. Childless women may also become adamant of work-life balance by feeling compelled to overcompensate for their status by working longer hours, leading to burnouts and decreased productivity in the long run.
Ignoring proper handling of the many society-induced challenges of childlessness may have a huge negative impact on individuals, groups and the society; and these may linger and spill over soon. It behoves every responsible member of the society, families, childless individuals, community leaders, workplace supervisors, and policy makers to put their hands on deck to deliberately ensure and promote diversity, equity and inclusivity (DEI). Meaningful strategies in this regard can highlight ensuring appropriate health care access, workplace policies that promote flexibility and inclusivity, social services that offer community support and engagement opportunities to reduce isolation and foster connections among women regardless of their parental status; public awareness campaigns to raise awareness about childlessness to reduce stigma, representation and advocacy to ensure that childless women are represented in policy discussions and decision-making process to address specific needs and concerns; educational resources and workshops that focus on topics that will empower women to make informed choices. By implementing these strategies, policy makers can create more supportive and inclusive environment for childless women, recognising their contributions and addressing their unique challenges.
As an involuntary childless woman who is intentional about shunning the shame of societal stigmatisation and misconception surrounding childlessness, it has become my goal to help one woman at a time to live her best life. I know how disheartening it is to see a woman’s beauty, sweetness and loveliness being stripped of, or stolen from her by grief, rage, anxiety and depression incurred from wounds of insensitive spoken words, remarks, insinuations and aspersions which she has lived with and endures in a lifetime because of circumstances beyond her control.
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