Heal Rise Inspire and Value Every Part of Ourselves (T.H.R.I.V.E.)
— Dr Joshua Awesome
November is International Men’s Month, a time to reflect on the roles, responsibilities, and influence of men in society. While the month itself isn’t news, a deeply unsettling phone call one father received from his son’s school should give us all pause.
The call, which was sent out to many parents at the same institution, revolved around a pornography video circulating not online but within the school itself. Both boys and girls had seen it. How did this happen? A single decision by one parent to give their son unrestricted access to a device.
The gravity of the situation is sobering, but it also underscores a larger issue. Boys’ prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and reasoning — doesn’t fully develop until around age 25. This means young boys, without proper guidance and boundaries, are navigating complex, high-risk situations with limited neurological tools to make sound decisions.
As men, fathers, mentors, and role models, we have a collective responsibility to “guide, guard, and govern” the younger generation. We must become positive influences, stepping into roles that foster growth, discipline, and purpose — not just for the good of our families, but for our communities, countries, and even the world.
The easy way out — handing children devices without oversight — has immediate consequences that are often destructive. It’s not just about limiting screen time; it’s about recognising that these tools, while powerful, can erode a child’s sense of self, safety, and future if used carelessly.
The good news? Intentional parenting and mentoring can make all the difference. One practical strategy I recommend is the Triage Technique, a simple method to stay focused and make time for what truly matters, including being present for the younger generation.
The Triage Technique
A framework for intentional living
Start your day with clarity and purpose by categorising your tasks into three levels:
High priority
These are your non-negotiables — urgent and critical tasks that demand immediate attention. These could include work deadlines, a meeting with a teacher, or even an hour of quality time with your child. Mark these tasks in red, and tackle them first.
Mid priority
Tasks that are important but can wait. Mark them in green to keep them on your radar without detracting from high-priority items. Examples might include replying to emails or scheduling a routine doctor’s appointment.
Low priority
Label less critical tasks in blue or black. These are items you can delegate or address later. Think of them as the “if there’s time” list — laundry, organising your desk, or browsing social media.
By applying the Triage Technique, you streamline your day and free up mental energy to focus on what truly matters: your presence, guidance, and involvement in the lives of those you mentor and lead.
Four lessons for men to T.H.R.I.V.E.
The challenges of modern fatherhood and mentorship are significant, but the opportunity to lead by example is even greater. Here are four key lessons to empower men to heal, rise, inspire, and value every part of themselves — and by extension, the next generation:
Be a Guardian of Time
Time is our most precious resource. Allocate it intentionally to prioritise the people and values that matter most. Use tools like the Triage Technique to balance professional and personal responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed.
Actionable advice:
- Set daily “non-negotiable” blocks of time for your children or mentees. Whether it’s a shared meal, helping with homework, or a simple conversation, consistency builds trust and connection.
Teach digital responsibility
Children and teenagers need guidance to navigate the digital world safely. Technology isn’t the enemy; the lack of boundaries and supervision is.
Actionable advice:
- Set clear rules for device usage, including time limits and content restrictions.
- Lead by example: practise mindful technology use yourself to show how to balance online and offline life.
Model emotional intelligence
Young boys and men need to see that strength isn’t just physical — it’s about emotional resilience, empathy, and communication. These skills help them thrive in relationships and decision-making.
Actionable advice:
- Be open about your own emotions and how you manage them. Show that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength.
- Encourage conversations about feelings and actively listen without judgement
Build a legacy of mentorship
Every man has the power to mentor — not just their own children but younger men in their communities. It’s about creating a ripple effect of positive influence.
Actionable advice:
- Volunteer your time to youth organisations, schools, or community groups.
- Actively seek opportunities to mentor or coach, whether professionally or personally.
A call to action
As we celebrate International Men’s Month, let’s commit to showing up — not just in title but in action. Being present, setting boundaries, and fostering emotional intelligence aren’t just strategies; they’re necessities for building a generation of strong, compassionate, and responsible men.
Heal, Rise, Inspire, and Value Every part of ourselves (T.H.R.I.V.E.).
The world doesn’t just need men who succeed — it needs men who uplift others, nurture growth, and inspire greatness. Start today by asking yourself: how will I guide, guard, and govern the next generation? Your time, your presence, and your leadership matter. Let’s make them count.
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