Shattering stigmas, saving men’s lives through support 

Last week, as I touched down in Ekurhuleni, South Africa, on World Suicide Prevention Day, the dark clouds overhead mirrored the sombre conversation I had with a fellow passenger. The name Ekurhuleni, meaning “place of peace” in Tsonga, contrasted sharply with the unsettling reality: South Africa recorded 13,774 suicide deaths in 2022, with men accounting for 10,861 of them. This heartbreaking statistic places the country among the highest globally for male suicide deaths.

For decades, society has reinforced the idea that men should be the ‘stronger’ gender, resilient in the face of adversity. But this expectation has proven fatal for many, who are often left to battle their inner demons alone. Men are five times more likely to die by suicide than women, with factors like unemployment, unresolved childhood trauma, and relationship breakdowns being the most common contributors.

Lesson 1: Recognise the silent crisis

The first lesson in addressing this crisis is acknowledging that mental health struggles can affect anyone, regardless of gender, age, or social status. Psychologists, like Steve Langa, emphasise that “mental health affects everyone and anyone — equally and at any time.” Yet, men are still bound by societal expectations to remain stoic and silent, preventing many from seeking help.

The stigma surrounding men and mental health runs deep. From a young age, boys are often told to “man up,” masking vulnerability as weakness. As a result, many men suffer in silence, unable to express their struggles without feeling ashamed.

Actionable activity

Start conversations. Whether you’re a friend, partner, or employer, create safe spaces for men to talk about their feelings. Ask them how they’re really doing, and listen without judgment. Men are more likely to open up when they feel seen and heard. Initiating these conversations could be the lifeline they need.

Lesson 2: Understand the triggers

South Africa’s high male suicide death rate is driven by a web of interconnected factors. Unemployment, financial strain, childhood trauma, relationship breakdowns, and societal pressures all contribute to the isolation many men feel. Langa, who works with men, women, and children in distress in Pretoria’s townships, encounters hundreds of male patients on the brink of suicide each year. Many are struggling with grief from the loss of loved ones, often due to broken relationships, and overwhelming pressure to provide financially.

Actionable activity

Know the warning signs. If someone you know starts withdrawing from loved ones, expresses hopelessness, or engages in risky behaviours like increased substance use, these are often signs they may be in crisis. Don’t hesitate to reach out. Your intervention could be the difference between life and death. Help them find professional resources, and continue checking in to show your ongoing support.

Lesson 3: Confront societal norms

Toxic masculinity has long perpetuated the idea that men must be strong, unemotional, and always in control. This rigid stereotype is at the heart of why so many men fail to seek help when they need it most. Data from the South African Society of Psychiatrists shows that men are more likely to suppress their emotions until they reach a breaking point. By then, it’s often too late for intervention.

To change this, we must address the cultural narratives that keep men from being open about their mental health. Globally, men are less likely than women to talk about their mental health, yet they are more likely to die by suicide. It’s a vicious cycle that can only be broken by rethinking how we define masculinity.

Actionable activity

Challenge harmful stereotypes. As parents, teachers, and leaders, it’s crucial to model and promote emotional literacy among boys and men. Encourage them to express vulnerability and emphasise that asking for help is a sign of courage, not weakness. By creating an environment where men feel safe to share, we can help prevent unnecessary deaths.

Lesson 4: Advocate for men’s mental health

Although there are suicide prevention tools available, many are not tailored to the unique challenges men face. The stigma, lack of resources, and societal expectations leave many men feeling as if they have no way out. South Africa’s Department of Social Development (DSD) must take men’s mental health more seriously, and International Men’s Day should be more than just a footnote on the calendar. It should be a day where we focus on the mental health struggles that disproportionately affect men and boys, and actively work to remove the barriers that prevent them from accessing the help they need.

Right now, mental health resources for men are often limited or inaccessible, especially in rural areas. The DSD needs to expand its mental health outreach to ensure that men, particularly those in under-resourced communities, have access to counselling, support groups, and emergency services.

Actionable activity

Promote mental health resources. Advocate for more mental health services that specifically address men’s issues. African Institute of Mind will host a THRIVE Mental Health workshop for healthcare professionals at Africa Health and can tailor gender-specific, and raise awareness about existing support systems. Additionally, on International Men’s Day 2024, let’s create an experience around men’s mental health and work to break down stigmas that prevent men from seeking help.

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