“Stress and Anxiety Cause Our Brains to Release Chemicals That Put Lines in Our Faces and Tear Us Down Emotionally and Spiritually” – Chris Prentiss”
The introduction of SOS was for emergency maritime radio communication using the Morse code, a distress signal that originated on 1st April 1905 and became a worldwide standard when included in the service regulations of the first international radiotelegraph convention, signed 3rd November 1906. It has been used ever since as a ‘start-of-message mark’ for transmissions requesting assistance when loss of life or catastrophic loss of property is imminent.
There is no one on the earth, this season, that hasn’t had covid and or covid stress, thereby making it truly stressful in some way, since everyone has suffered some form of loss. In a recent publication issue of my American Psychological Association, by TaNoah Morgan, according to psychologists specializing in grief, friends and family who mean well far too often lack the tools to be as supportive as they’d like to be.
One of the biggest reasons is because grief makes us uncomfortable. It is difficult to watch someone you care about go through pain and sorrow knowing there is little you can do to lessen it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t help.
According to Therese Rando, author of “How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies”, the most important thing supporters must realize is you can’t take away the pain, but you can be with them, and acknowledge it (by saying), ‘It hurts me that you’re hurting this holiday. I’m thinking of you and of (your loved one) and the times we had, “the gift of presence and acknowledgement.”
Another important consideration for supporters is understanding the role in which they can best serve their grieving person.
Personally, I recently lost two family members, aside a professional colleague who we co-counselled and psychologically supported the South African Police Services together; not to mention that two members of my team at Awesome One Holdings, lost six members of their families this year alone, one of which happened while we were just returning from lunch, leading to a breakdown right in our Sandton City Office. And the only support that was required at that moment was a shoulder to cry on.
A bereaved person needs at least three types of supporters in their life, according to Robin Goodman:
Firstly, the Listener: the supporter who offers a shoulder to cry on. This person is a go-to person who can handle intimate details and emotion.
Secondly, the Doer: the supporter who is responsible and helpful with tasks. The doer may be able to pick up the kids at the last minute or help with the bake sale when the bereaved is feeling overwhelmed.
Lastly, the Distractor: The supporter who offers a lighter touch and can help the bereaved take a break from the hard work of grieving. This person is the go-to for the movies, dinner or just an evening of laughter. Let us all remember help sometimes shows up from minds, people or places we least expect.
The seasons of life each have expiry dates. “If You Feel Like You’re Losing Everything, Remember Trees Lose their leaves every year, and they stand tall and wait for better days to come.”
Embrace everything emerging through these reflective questions:
Did I give myself permission to grieve freely, at my own pace and in the ways, I needed to?
Did I allow for moments of happiness without feeling guilty?
Am I embracing pain to allow myself fully to release it?
Am I allowing myself to experience love for my loss?
Life is for the living and allowing oneself fully to heal takes time, though time is now, which requires allowing oneself to enjoy life, learning to laugh, love enables everything positively possible to emerge.
Gift the heart and body you have lived with every day since your birth a gift this season – nurture. Enjoy your recovery journey, you deserve the right to disable effect dissociation caused by trauma or PTSD dealt through your loss (whatever type you’ve experienced) from anxiety, brain health, covid-19, depression, eczema; a trauma therapy session in a hyperbaric chamber can commence healing, which I know from experience, as my personal body that’s kept the scores also opened to deep recovery; which is possible for everyone too, to your rise and humanity flourishing.
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