LILIAN CHUDEY PRIDE
Lilian Chudey Pride, “The Childless Woman’s Coach”, is author of “Life Beyond Motherhood”; “Dignity of Womanhood”, and the publisher of iwriteafrica.com, an online magazine. Her books can be found on amazon.com and she can be reached on email: liliancpride@gmail.com; and lilian@iwriteafrica.com
Confronting tags and taggers is fundamental to our mental health, personal wellbeing, and survival. Tags demean and defeat people’s vision, aspiration and focus. Gladly, many aspects of social life and community life are transforming, and many people are becoming more inclined towards self-expression, self-sufficiency and personal lifestyle choices. Many people, young and old, are more empowered now to face challenges, including tags and taggers, head on, deriving means and strategies to confronting tags decisively. Technology has played a big role in exposing the limiting tendencies of tagging as well as providing avenues for confronting tags and taggers in private and public spheres locally, and internationally. Similarly, generational and ideological shifts, education and individual aspiration have empowered more people to stand up for themselves thereby defying denigrating tags that hitherto limited them.
What method should I apply in confronting tags?
1) Uprooting method
Tags come with intensity to occupy with impunity. Therefore, the uprooting method means systematically, consistently and intentionally applying force to the root of tags, making sure that you monitor daily until its roots are in your hands.
2) Clearing method
This is removing and cleaning everything that is surrounded by tags, ensuring that there are no contaminated areas around the area where tags took root. Applying substance and taking action that will deter tags from growing and taking further roots is described here as a clearing method. For example, if you were called/tagged a never-do-well, and you apply discipline with intentionality to what makes you happy, doing well in those areas and living your best happy life, no longer allowing tags of never-do-well to define who you are, no longer waiting for anyone to validate you, you have indeed cleared the root cause of what limited you in time past.
3) Blocking method
This is closing every way by which tags and taggers gained access into your life in the past, for example, some family members who never saw anything good in what you do, some colleagues who envy you in secret, but speak ill of your contributions to make you dependent on their validation; and the list goes on. Blocking method helps you find yourself, embrace yourself, believe in yourself and accept that you are phenomenal.
Whatever names that tags may come with, they come to steal the joys of their host, to kill, de-motivate and destroy the self-esteem of whosoever gives them room to cohabit. Tags may be more dangerous to our lives than some scientifically diagnosed and pronounced killer diseases; emotional tags dismantle, dehumanise and destroy a person’s willpower and strength to stand.
What to do to tags
1) Hate tags: When you hate something, you don’t want to be around it or have anything to do with it, you show resentment for it, you don’t want it around you.
2) Reject tags: Rejecting something means dismissing that thing as inadequate or faulty. This means that if you see or hear someone labelling or placing a tag on another, you quickly reject it and stop them from bringing tags around you.
3) Rise above tags: If you have been tagged or labelled, replacing the negative words labelled on your personality with positive words which reflects who you are plus developing a growth mindset, embracing learning opportunities to further place you in limelight, will boost your self-esteem the most. Practising self-care and self-compassion can be additional helpful strategies. Rising above it means that you do not allow its stings to define who you are anymore.
4) Don’t give room to tags and don’t let tags take root. Tags take root when we encourage taggers. Taggers tell woe stories about other people, they label people and stick on them, ugly tags that may be hard to erase. Therefore, sitting with taggers to label people will mean that you are in support of their malicious tendencies.
5) Keep long distance from tags
Do not form alliances with taggers, do not make friends with them, maintain a long distance from them. Be on the lookout for tags and avoid them at first glance. Look out for those that live by tagging other individuals, recognise them and have no association with them, as association with them, could mean you are following their objectives to limiting others.
6) Make yourself “un-taggable”
By staying focused and being appreciative of yourself, celebrating your wins, you will become “untaggable”. Your mindset speaks volume of how you do not agree to the label that taggers try to place on your personality. You know who you are and you do not need anyone’s validation or the things they say to define you.
7) Celebrate your win over tag
Flaunt your wins, celebrate your achievements and make your voice loud.
8) Warn your friends and family about tags
Speak up against tags and taggers. Warn the people around you about the limiting power of tags.
9) Expose tags
When you speak up against tags and taggers, it becomes easy for people to recognise them from afar, making it difficult for tags to cause so much harm to you or your loved ones.
Tags blur the vision of their host, dissipate energy, cause one to question one’s credibility, competence, personality, steal one’s focus and destroy one’s confidence. Highly placed people in society should be mindful of tagging and labelling in different settings including political, religious, economic, social, communal, and academic environments, among others, because society members are watching and are impacted on by their words and actions which can influence the personal lives of those who see leaders as role models.
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