Say my name, say my name

BY CHRIS ANYOKWU 

Chris Anyokwu, PhD, a dramatist, poet, fiction writer, speaker, rights activist and public intellectual, is a Professor of English at the University of Lagos, Nigeria and has joined Business a.m.’s growing list of informed editorial commentators to write on Politics & Society. He can be reached via comment@businessamlive.com

The popular practice on our university campuses whereby students love calling their lecturers by their name, mostly first name, has got one thinking about the propriety or otherwise of it all. Ordinarily, a lecturer with a full-name ought to be addressed properly, say: Dr/Prof. Olatunde Ojo.  But our young folks on our campuses would rather address him, mostly behind his back, as “Olatunde” or “Tunde”, for short.  When they have a class taught by Dr Olatunde Ojo, they would say among themselves: “We have Tunde”.  It is likely that they do this for ease of identification rather than out of discourtesy.  However, the formality of the workplace or school environment requires that everybody sticks to proper etiquette, even in the manner of address: Mr/Mrs/Dr/Prof. etc., etc.

I recall a rather interesting incident that took place a few years ago.  I had addressed a senior colleague by his surname without adding his designation “Dr”.  He was livid with rage because of this act of “insubordination”.  He was a step higher than me in rank and probably two or three years older.  Sometimes, one is forced to wonder why people are so fanatical or obsessed about titles!  Without the titles, are you not, at bottom, what you are?  Or, like Shakespeare’s character in Macbeth, why do people love to be draped in borrowed robes?  This is the reason why people would give life and limb to acquire titles.  Some parents would bribe officials, cut corners and do unethical things to get their primary school children admitted to choice and high-profile secondary schools.  They would also compromise relevant authorities to get their wards high grades in NECO, WASCE and GCE.  We know of the popular scandal of “special centres” where children of  the high-and-mighty are billeted, far, far from prying eyes of decency to have their papers either written for them or the answers dictated to them, while also consulting their handsets and making and receiving phone-calls.

How about the UTME/JAMB examinations?  It is an open secret that a huge and pervasive racketeering is always going on here involving teachers, some JAMB officials and all kinds of middle-men.

You find on notice-boards on a campus, stickers and banners with such inscriptions as: “Are you having nightmares with your class assignments, term papers, or projects?  Come to us for an instant solution!”  Needless to add, professional project writers now abound on our campuses and society. They write BA, MA/MSc and PhD projects, dissertations and theses for their clients for humongous sums!  The question is why so? The love of titles! It feels good to be regarded as a “graduate”, or a Master’s Degree holder, or even more intimidating, a PhD holder! Wow! Who wouldn’t sell landed property, cars and even enslaves themselves to lay hold on the Golden Fleece? Do you know how it feels to be addressed in public as Doctor? “Here comes Dr XYZ… everybody rise to your feet to welcome him/her!”  It is an indescribable feeling. So, some folk want to bear “Dr” at all costs!  They want to be addressed as “Dr” and would give anything it takes to be so addressed. In kind and in cash! Who doesn’t love accolades?

The same culture of corner cutting is pervasive in our national life – for instance, the security forces (the Police, Army, Navy, Air Force, DSS, Civil Defence, etc.). People cheat to get in; they lie about and falsify their age, state of origin, certificates and so forth.  They even go as far as involving themselves in identity theft, that is, claiming another person’s identity a la Sizwe Bansi is Dead! Our political culture is worse, of course.  Who doesn’t know  that?  The storied shenanigans of our rulers are stuff of global headlines. Indeed, the ruler (not leader, mind you!) is a tissue of serial self-falsification – age, school history, certification, work experience, source of wealth, health status, state of origin, everything!  He lives a lie, in a word!

In one of his trending memes, the late televangelist, Myles Monroe speaks of the sufficiency of a single name. He lampoons those, he claims; love to bear big titles, such as Archbishop, Bishop, Professor, Doctor, etc.  He then asks his audience if Jesus Christ had a title.  He finally counsels people to be content with their first name: Jesus, Moses, Joshua, Samuel, Paul, Peter! No need for high-sounding honorifics or cognomen.  Designations, especially undeserved ones, are often misleading signals of identification.  But that goes against the grain in our culture and society.  We love them titles: Alhaji, Archbishop, Engineer, Architect, Doctor, Professor, His Royal Highness and His Excellency!  Most times, those who bear these titles are undeserving of them; they are analogous to being draped in “borrowed robes.” They usually exhibit the angular hoity-toity of a cricket or the loud and lousy uppity of a peacock. This outward showiness segues into a habit of class consciousness.  The hollow ritualization of titular entitlement, of the honorifics of status and station is at the root of our backwardness and the perennial underdevelopment of our country. The truly deserving is usually unobtrusive, self-effacing and quiet. You do not hear them utter such empty boasts as: “Do you know who/what I am?” “I am Chief (Dr) Alhaji, Prof….Damboroba, Esq., JP, GCON, etc., etc.!”

That being said, everyone should aim at being called by their rightful name – to their face! Your first or last name only should be a sufficient form or mode of identification. Your name should be a one-word biography.  Yes, many people probably bear the same name as you do but, in spite of that, just being addressed by a single name should suffice. Take the name “John” for example. Millions of people perhaps bear “John”.  How do people differentiate your name “John” from other “Johns”?  Wouldn’t it be okay to simply call you by your full name, that is including your other names? To clear up obfuscation? Or needless charges of identity stealing that have marred and messed up the souk of onomastic? The fact is, every John is peculiar, its uniqueness deriving in the main from an intervolving lattice-work of inter-relationships, responsibilities and the like. Your family background, age, relationships, social connections, and other variables distinguish you from the myriad of Johns that                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          populate and people the world.  History, context, is everything here. The immediate community of sentient beings with whom you share societal dos and don’ts usually offsets you from the amorphous sprawl of global Johns. Let a million Johns show up for identification, but you as John, simply John, will tower head and shoulders above the rest!  All you have done in life will coalesce into the physical form people recognise as John, warts and all.  The mere mention of your name, John, will automatically bring to mind what you are about; your personality, your unique identity. The question now is, does the mention of your name evoke an image of virtue or vice? Good or Evil? Does your name in relation to YOU embody honesty or crookedness, competence or mediocrity? Are you a picture of excellence or a smudge of opprobrium?  Do you stand for progress or retrogression? Do people rejoice when your name is mentioned or lose all sense of joy and gaiety when your name is whispered abroad? Think about it, for, as the hymn says, we are only remembered by what we have done.

In Nigeria today, individuals and organisations who embody these contrasting and countervailing tendencies and attitudes of mind abound. Some appropriate the tortoisean archetype or trick themselves out in the fabulous finery of the chameleon. It is all a question of time, they will show their true colours. As Bob Marley croons, you may deceive some people sometimes, but you can’t deceive all the people all the time. So, as William Shakespeare posits in Hamlet: “To thyself, be true!”  Be true as steel, and wear your name as an epaulette of pride and honour. Then you will not be bothered by what you are called behind your back. Your name is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

• business a.m. commits to publishing a diversity of views, opinions and comments. It, therefore, welcomes your reaction to this and any of our articles via email: comment@businessamlive.com